Mood: Excited and happy
Listening to: Make me bad - Korn
Watching: staring at “my” new room
Reading: what I’m writing
Playing: with silence
Eating: air
Drinking: water
Thinking: Oh my… I slept so long… literally!

This is the first entry I make to my blog while I’m here at Basel, Switzerland. Actually this is my very first day here and I slept most of the day dut to jet-lang and actually weariness. The flight wasn’t so long, just 12 hours but the waiting in Paris was. I arrived to Paris at 14.30, local time, and I left to Basel at 21.45. So you do the math. During the whole flights, I slept only 1.5 real hours which is nothing.

But anyway, I arrived to my room in Basel around 01.00 and I actually slept from 04.30 to 17.00. Way too much, I know **blushes**. I think I needed it since now I feel quite well. However, I have to confess if I had the chance to sleep more, I’d do it **mischevious**.

In the academic field, which is actually the reason why I’m here. I’ve only met one of the students here, she’s a Ph.D. student. I’m meeting the professon until monday, he’s not here right now. I still have no clue of what I’m going to do here, I’ve read some papers and I know what’s done here and that’s about it. The reason why I asked to be here was to have a try in an astrochemistry lab and see if I want to devote myself to this field. Let’s see what comes out of this.

Mood: Excited and happy
Listening to: Running up that hill - Within Temptation
Watching: xxxHolic, s02 e07
Reading: data and stuff
Playing: with a wet Kero
Eating: air
Drinking: green tee and water
Thinking: Oh my… all this… is it really true?

Well, what can I say in order to excuse myself for have neglect, once again, my site? Actually, I was quite busy due to school: the end of the semester and the first year of my masters **phew**.

The past year (from june 2007 to june 2008) has been a tough one. Why? Because I chose it to be in the academic and personal aspects of my life. Despite the roughness of the road, I do not regret any of my decisions and I do mean it.

It all started exactly a year ago. I was in the Vatican Observatory Summer School 2007 (VOSS 07) and I was having the time of my life and then… I met the love of my life: Tijl. **tears of happiness run down** I fell in love with him right from the very start, just when I stared at his magnificent eyes. I couldn’t help it, the feelings were too powerful for me to control. We spent almost 1.5 month together and afterwards, we were together again for just two weeks five months later. We’ve kept a long distance relationship which has had really deep valleys but nevertheless, high peaks. I’ve never been happier in my life and I can’t be greatful enough with life for have given me the chance of lived what I did in the past so I could learn and experience things that have lead me to a knowledge which has allowed me to love in a full manner: understanding, communicating, sharing… **sighs in love** I must confess that I had (and still have) to change aspects of my personality that are not so positive for the relationship but most importantly, for myself. My love is in one of his darkest time due to many things but I just wish for be his support and companion. He’s not only the love of my life but also the greatest man I’ve ever met. He’s gorgeous, sexy, smart, geeky, intelligent, silly, funny, tender, sensible, loving, caring and he really loves me. Of course, he’s not perfect but he’s fighting for himself to be the great human and scientist he can be and therefore, he is the closest being to paradise for me. He has giving me so much in this past year (in this first year?): the love I never thought to deserve, dreams of a life together, hope for a better future, strength to endure life’s tests, tendernes and support for my dark moments, understanding and trust for my insecure nature, peace to my restless mind and heart, an additional incentive for me to achieve my goals and professional dreams, faith when I’ve lost it. So many things in so short period that I just can’t hide my smile when I think of what could I live with him if I spend the rest of my life by his side in joy and sorrow **smiles in joy and hope**. He’s my spring blossom of love, my summer wine, my breeze of autumn and my white belgian chocolate for winter. He’s my everythin and more… so much more.

Also, my academic life took a different path a year ago when I was accepted in the Chemistry program. I really think it was a wise decision since it has allowed me to mold my career in the manner I want, it has given me a large share of professional freedom that I honestly think I could’ve not been able to get it somewhere else, not even in the Astronomy program. For most people, the masters is not really tough but it was for me since I made a decision (maybe a not so good one) during the first semester that cost me two courses which had as consequence that the second semester was the definitive one in order to be in the correct path for my future. One of the two courses I had to retake was the toughest one I’ve ever taken since it forced my brain to think and to study like it didn’t do in a long long time and also, it had the lowest passing rate of all since only the 10% of the students that have taken it actually pass. The other course wasn’t hard at all but since I wasn’t 100% confident of my capabilities, I had an uneasy time. However, at the end, I obtained really good results in everything. My avarage so far looks great and it will allow me to ask for a scholarship when I apply for my Ph.D. abroad. That leads me to other great news. I wrote to some places to look for the opportunity to be accepted as a short-stay or Ph.D. student. I did it with all the hope and faith in the world but with certain grounded thought that I might’ve not got any reply nontheless, I did get amazing replies since I found a short-stay during summer, in an astrochemistry lab in Basel, Switzerland; I am accepted by the researchers in two places for my Ph.D. in Preston, UK and in Groeningen, The Nederlands. In the latest place, I was invited as well for a semester during my master but that might not be possible for many reasons (masters and my own research timings…). I know all this may mean nothing and yet, it means so much.

Still, there’s a long path to be walked but thanks to all these blessings and events, light has come in to my life allowing me to see what can be done next. Thus, may this year be the first of the rest of my life? I don’t know perhaps it is. What I’m really sure about is that I am and will be doing what in my power is to achieve happiness, in the academic and personal life, and having the one I love the most in life by my side (and me by his), I quite sure I could actually be able to be happy in this life.

Mood: Dissapointed (?)
Listening to: Ain’t that a bitch? - Aerosmith
Watching: House, s04 e12
Reading: Radiochemistry stuff
Playing: dead
Eating: air
Drinking: coke
Thinking: Shall I risk it all?

This is just a quick entry in order to regain habit of writing here. I know I’ve abandoned it for more than two months and I should be ashamed. However, I hope it’ll be for the last time… I do need to get things done here, i. e. upload certain programs and files. Anyway, I will be here soon to bring the updates of my life, which of course, includes my white belgian chocolate.

Mood: Not Impressed and kind of homesick
Listening to: The party is over - Lacrimosa
Watching: Boston law, s02 e18
Reading: What I’m writing
Playing: dead
Eating: air
Drinking: water
Thinking: Du vergaß meinen Namen…

First of all, lately personal things haven’t been in their most peachy moment. School hasn’t been a stimulating event either but it was ok, however now with certain course.. I think I’ll do fine but some idiotic classmate made a huge deal with the authorities because of a no-so-good-exam and now the teacher is far beyond pissed. The problem is going to be not only on that course but also on its continuation and in both cases, I might get screwed since today, we were told that she’s going to apply an exam for thermo II which she originaly wasn’t going to. And since the semester is about to end, there are a lot of things to be done at the very last minute adding pressure and stress and yet, it’s fine… such’s school **shruging and sighing**.

I must confess that sometimes I need some sort of distraction when I’m all focused in school stuff, the problem is that I didn’t choose correctly and I started crying with this stupid trailer. Why am I always moved by these pathetic movies? **getting desperate** They don’t just never (censored words) and worse is that I long for those things to happen to me **feeling frustrated**. I just wonder… and wonder, and keep wondering… And all that I find is (censored words). **some tears running down**. Oh my, oh my… Life’s getting complicated, too much complicated and still there’s nothing much to do except to fight for what one’s believe **wondering again** and hold onto one’s faith because sometimes looking for comfort in God (or the higher force out there) is the only consolation one can find in moments of solitude, desperation and/or despair. Am I actually in one of those moments? Damn! I really don’t know for real **childish moaning** and that’s pretty bad. Come on, I need some light here for school, family, friends… even for love. **sighing** I feel I want to fly away to unknown territories and not having to look back.

Mood: Not Impressed
Listening to: Bachelorette - Björk
Watching: Boston law, s01 e16
Reading: What I’m writing
Playing: dead
Eating: air
Drinking: water
Thinking: Du vergaß meinen Namen…

When all that was ever wanted was to dream, nothing more, just to feel the mutual hope of dreaming… Anyway, I modified again a little bit the lyrics to exemplify how I feel…

Bachelorette
-Björk-

I’m a fountain of blood in the shape of a girl.
You were the bird on the brim hypnotised by the whirl.

Drank me, made me feel real, wetted your beak in the stream.
Game we played is life, love was a one-way dream.

You left, you didn’t return.
The tide showed you the way, but you forgot my name.
You went astray like a killer whale, trapped in a bay.

I was a path of cinders burning under your feet.
You were the one who walked me, I wasn’t your one way street.

I was a whisper in water, secret for you to hear.
You were the one who grew distant when I beckoned you near.

You left, you didn’t return.
The tide showed you the way, but you forgot my name.
You went astray like a killer whale, trapped in a bay.

I was a tree that grew hearts, one for each that you took.
You were the intruders hand, I was the branch that you broke.